The Perils of Returning to Work Too Soon
Sad day, much wailing and sobbing and gnashing of teeth, etc. etc. I am a pathetic sight. But – because we all need to laugh through our tears – a Friday story for you all:
So, I plan on pumping milk for the kid while I’m here. I put a sign on both of my doors with a picture of a cow on it to let people know not to knock or disturb, and then lock the doors up and get my stuff together. I remove both of my shirts (I’m going for the layered look today), hoist up my backpack o’ milking machine shizz, and start putting pieces together. Of course – of course – in my tearful and ridiculous state this morning, I neglected the two vital pieces of plastic that make the vacuum, well, vacuumous, so I had to pack all the automatic milking machine shizz back into the automatic milking machine backpack and pull out my (thank god I brought it) manual pump. I sit at my desk, checking email with one hand and squeezing the manual pump with the other (do you have a lovely image in your head now?) After approximately six thousand years I am done, and I screw the tops on each bottle and put them in my mini fridge (and I must say I am fantastically set up for doing this, what with the fridge and the office with lockable doors and all.) I make sure that everything is packed away neatly in the bag, and my next two bottles are ready to go for the afternoon pump. Then I open each of my two doors and remove my signs.
Anybody catch the missed step in that progression?
That would be, um, PUTTING MY TWO SHIRTS BACK ON.
I have spent wayyyy too much time walking around the house in my nursing bra, people, and I just didn’t notice that something was missing. THANK GOD, Thank the HOLY LORD ABOVE, nobody was out and about in the hall, and I noticed my breezy belly button almost immediately. I did not expose my flappy flobby belly to anyone at my job today, and on four hours of sleep and fifty hours of weeping, I think that’s pretty good.
4 Comments
Aimee
too funny…but good that you have your own space….and that you didn\’t run into anyone in the hallway for that matter….
♥~♥ :oD the shortest distance between two people is a smile… :oD ♥~♥
Nice Girl
Oh my gosh! I cannot stop laughing. Let me pause for a moment and stop. Never mind. I can\’t stop laughing!
Here is hoping the days get a little bit easier and your mind becomes a little bit less…wander-y? But then there wouldn\’t be stories like this!
Amanda 🙂
NJaney
Wow, naked in the office. A little naughty…
I hope you remembered to bring the milk home?!
http://www.stthomasblog.com
super jane
ah, i remember those days fondly. there was another gal in our office who had delivered her son just two months before i delivered alana. we would pump together a few times a day and chat about this and that while we "relieved" ourselves. people in the office thought it a tad strange, but i\’m tellin\’ ya…once you\’ve had a baby and everyone and their brother has seen your boobs, you hoo-ha and everything else, you don\’t so much care, now do you? plus, it was nice to have the company. i pumped for a full year for alana. you can do it!