10:30 pm “Hi! It’s my twenty third birthday (hic)!”12:00 am “Hi! Verry nahce to meet yooouuu (burp). It’s mah twenny thurd buthday!”2:30 am “Isss maah twennny thurd tuhday burth, oh hai, ahm drunk . . .” I, too, have had my nights, and plenty of ‘em, but I think my most spectacular display of drunkenness…
Category: Wonder Women Posts
I Wonder What Kind of Parents We’ll Be
You’ll be the strict one, I say to him. What makes you think that? he asks mildly. I don’t know, I say, I just think you will. We’ll see, he says. ********* We’re going camping on Memorial Day weekend, he says. Ok, I say. Better get him used to it early. This kid better like…
Bow Chicka Wow Woooowww
What does a fifteen year old know? Really? At fifteen, I knew that when I wore my crayon red cowboy-style button down shirt tucked into a pair of high waist jeans, no belt, with white sneakers and my hair in a limp ponytail – I looked HOTT. I knew the quadratic equations by heart, and…
I Wonder What I Envy?
Envy. It’s one of the seven deadly sins. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s fillintheblank, but who doesn’t? Who doesn’t look at that green green grass over there, and forget to notice her own garden? Well, me, because I’m perfect. Just kidding. I covet, all over the place. I covet super jane’s faith. Wicked M’s…
I’m Just Putting Lotion on My Legs
I have three stories for you. None of them can match Wicked’s amazing adventures, and I’m a little jealous. You haven’t really lived until you’ve had a crazy man fall in love with you after one meal. One of my worst dates was actually my first date ever. My parents were very strict, black-and-white rules…