This morning before work I found the cat mewing pitifully at our cedar chest in the front room, reaching under it with both paws.  I got down on my belly to fish out whatever it was she wanted – and found a little stockpile of silver Christmas tree ornaments.  When I looked her in the eye to give her a scolding, I found a piece of Christmas ribbon sticking out of her teeth.   It’s fried kitty legs for breakfast tomorrow.    

The cat, running wild, runs down the hall, ramps off the washer, and leaps into the air before flipping around and scrabbling in the opposite direction across the wood floor, cartoon style.  The boyfriend collapses in giggles on the floor.   PS Don’t tell his male friends that he giggles.  That is between you and me.

By guest blogger, Bella (the cat) Yaaaaawn, stretch, and stretch and mmmmmmmm, yawn. 6am. Blink Blink . . . . . . aaaaaaaaaand run around the room, run across the bed, get your nose get your nose, “MRRROWWWW.”  Geez, what is wrong with my person anyway, god she always sleeps so LATE, “MRROOOWWWW GET UP MROWW.”  Run across her chest, aaaaaaand sit with my butt in her face, stick my tail in her eye, tail in the eye right there yeah great aaaaaaaaaand run and get the feet, get the feet, attack the feet, mmmm feet under the covers feet.  Run and get the nose, get it aaaaaaand . .…

Here is a list of some of the surest ways to make me mad, in no particular order:   1. Chew up my guitar case and all my picks, and make me worry about whether you ingested any plastic. 2. Put your paws inside each and every houseplant and dig out all the dirt, looking for acorns.  Make sure to spread the dirt around in as wide a radius as possible.  Track it on the white couch if you can. 3. Find said acorns and strew them all about the house.  Bonus points if you bat them around the hardwood floor at about 3 in the morning, sounding like crabs…