The Feline
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Bringing it back up . . .
Let’s bring the party back up now. Thanks everyone for reading my sad story. It’s a wonderful thing to know that not everybody will react like that doctor did. I am a lucky woman in that my story ended well – or continues well, I suppose, as I’m not dead and gone yet! I have included some photos of what Virgil will look like. And thanks to Circle K Ranch whose photos I stole. This breeder, by the way, is not where we got our dog, but the adult dog in the photo is our puppy’s Dad. Virg is a tri-color Pembroke Welsh corgi – although right now he looks something…
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Hello Humans
by guest blogger, Schmitty Cat. Translation by the short human. Meow mrow mow meow meeeeeow. I love my humans. Meow mrrrrow mew meow mowww. Especially the tall one. He is at the place where I abide for many hours of the day. . . . translation only from this point out. . . He speaks to me in human talk very often. He and I spend much time together. I help him with his work. When I see the little buttons that his fingers press when he is working, I can tell that he would like to have them killed. So I use my claws and teeth and pull them…
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An anecdote for Wednesday
Brrring brring. Brring brrring. “Hello, thank you for calling ABC Company, this is RG.” “Hi darlin.” “Oh, hey baby, how are you?” “Oh, I’m good. Hey listen, are you, uh, missing something today?” “Crap, what did I leave? I have my wallet, my ID, my credit cards . . . I think everything’s here.” “But are you missing something? From your person?” “Clearly, since you are calling me here, I’m missing something, but I don’t know -“ “From your person.” “Oh. Um let me see. Oh Whoops. It’s my wedding ring. Yeah, I took it off in the bathroom this morning and left it in my ring box so the…
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A Few Random Bullet Points
Haven’t felt much like writing since the VT thing. Something like that, no matter how distant from your daily life, really takes the wind out of your sails. And how about publicizing that package the kid made? Way to go, NBC. Way to give a lot of other angry kids looking for attention a great idea. The Israeli owner of our company is in town. He is a chain smoker, so whenever he’s here he chain smokes in his office just a few doors down from me. Now I’m not a girl who will give somebody a hard time about smoking in a bar, or at an outdoor party, or…
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Reluctant Grownup, Un Reluctantly Checking Out
Oh, the dreaded bikini shopping expedition. After hours of muttering encouragement to myself under the fluorescent lights – “You are wonderful person with wonderful qualities. You are kind to children and small animals. They don’t judge you by your thighs. It’s going to be ok” – I have a cute new suit for the honeymoon. It’s been years since I bought one, and it’ll take years before I feel ready to do it all again, but I survived, self-esteem (for the most part) intact. A quick aside – hello bikini makers? My ass is cute, but wide. Please make more suits to accommodate. Thank you. A snapshot of the…