Lachlan died last night, in his mother’s arms. I just came back from some business travel.  I have a task list a mile long.  I’ve been staffed on new matters and I have to get my hands around them.  There are deadlines.  Our cupboards are bare – and I mean bare – and I’ve got to get the shopping done.  Dinner will need made tonight.  Jack has a ball game.  Liam’s eczema is out of control and needs handled. All of these things, the Stuff of Life, these precious nuisances – they’re all beyond me at this point.  My head is fuzzy, my attention span shot.  I refresh facebook ten…

Just after I posted that meal plan post, I hopped on facebook and noted that my very first boyfriend (now a FB friend) had his first baby last night.  Well, his wife did.  Beab is a sweet little girl, thick head of hair, almost 9 pounds, and named after my old boyfriend’s mother who died of cancer a few years ago. Anyhow, it got me to thinking – every boyfriend I ever had is now a dad, except one.  Kinda cute, I think.  I’m FB friends with almost all of them, too.  I have a lot of affection for these guys’ babies.  The relationships (and in some cases, I’d say…

5:20 am, wake up, shower, get ready for the day 5:50 am, go set out the boys’ breakfasts and lunch sacks, get the baby’s bottle ready 6:00 am, get the big boys up, sit them down to breakfast while I collect their clothes (occasionally Craig will be up at 5 and join me for the wee morning hours, which makes it super interesting . . . but more often he stays asleep til just after 6).   Lay out clothes on the back of the couch, then go get the baby up and at ’em. From 6-6:40 I have to be sure everyone is fed, dressed, shoes on, the dog walked, the…

I was drawn to this article recently, as I pondered what to give up for Lent. Giving up for Lent was a thing I used to really get into, even though it’s kind of a “Catholic thing” and I have never been Catholic.  As my everyday schedule has become more punishing, however, the idea of adding more self denial and struggle has slowly lost its charm – three small kids, tough job, husband out of town most weeks makes life hard enough.  I used to give up soda, or chocolate, or alcohol, or meat.  But to be honest, I don’t drink a lot of soda or eat much chocolate these days, and though…

The last of the “pre-written” posts . . . I very much look forward to 2015, for a lot of reasons.  2014 was not a bad year, but it was one that had to be “gotten through.”  It was not a banner year for my health, that’s for sure.  I’ve hit or miss some long runs and some pilates classes, and I kept us in vegetables and nutrient rich meals, but there’s been no regular exercise and lots of comfort eating.  And of course, I have not regularly slept more than a couple of hours per night in a year and a half.  The deprivation and self-neglect takes its toll.…