Well I made some resolutions in 2019, didn’t I just. Sweet summer child, before the hundred years’ pandemic came and made us all hermits. Nevertheless, let’s see how things went!
- Change jobs. Welp, I did that, sort of. I wanted out of firm life due to billing, but that’s just not possible here. So I got into a better firm, with lower billables, and now I have almost no supervision, and it’s definitely way better. My friend became a judge and invited me to work on her staff – a 9-4 job. But it pays $60k a year and I just can’t afford to take such a cut (especially with Jack’s school so expensive), so I had to say no. She apologized for the low rate of pay, and said she was shocked herself at the pay scale – a docket clerk makes more than the judge’s staff attorney. But so it goes. Louisiana is not a rich state (should be, with all the oil), state jobs don’t pay a living wage.
- Read more books. YES! I did manage this! I kept a list – looks like I read at least 24 books (perhaps more as I might’ve missed a couple off the list) – almost entirely mysteries. I listened to a handful of them as audiobooks and read the rest mostly on kindle, checked out from my library via the Libby app.
- Attend more mundane kid stuff. Well, I did pretty well til things shut down. Like everyone, I have spent way more time with my kids this year for sure, just now in the way we expected.
- Keep working with my personal trainer and improve my metrics. I have “met” my trainer via zoom three times per week ever since the shut down, pretty religiously. We can’t do the same amount of good work since I don’t have a bar/weights/rack for squats and deadlifts, but we keep up the habit (key) and I have definitely kept a good base strength. Ready to roll right back into the heavy lifting once it’s safe to do so. We also finally bought a super cheap exercise bike – it has no bells and whistles, but it folds up and cost $140 and suits us fine. I have a free Peloton log-in from a friend that I use for rides/stretches, and I also do Pilates once or twice a week via youtube video with a teacher from my gym. Things are going as well as possible on the fitness front.
- More swimming for exercise. This is a nope for obvious reasons but maybe I can try again in the coming year.
- Write 15,000 words of a novel by the end of 2020. I forgot that I made this a goal, and I made more progress on this than I realized! I joined NaNoWriMo and bought Scrivener in November, as you recall, and while I have written less than 5,000 words at this point of my Pompeii novel, I have started it. And I’ve done a lot of research, which I find really interesting and fun. Funny that I set this as a goal for myself and promptly forgot about it, then resurrected the idea later, having forgotten that I already had it.
- Fitness Trainer training. This is still on my mind. I love Pilates in particular, so much. But we made no progress on this front for obvious reasons this year, and that’s ok.
- Meditate more. This ebbs and flows. It is really hard to meditate when everyone is home all the time. I remember I once tried to escape the boys and go on my porch, and my neighbor came over and asked if I was sick. English is not his first language and by the time we had spent 20 minutes working through a Spanglish explanation of what I was doing, all the mojo was gone. I do my best.
- Silence retreat. Well I managed to squeeze in one silence/meditation workshop before things shut down. It was a good investment of time (and fifty bucks), and I’d love to do it again once it’s safe – even an overnight.
- Make Indian curry. I think I made one. I seem to recall purchasing garam masala.
- Bake something cool. Hahahahaha 2019 Me was trolling 2020 Everybody. I’m still not a huge baker but I have begun making my own pizza with from-scratch dough, and I’ll take that as a win.
Now we’ll do the 2020 recap. I’m going to try really hard not to go for the obvious jokes here although some of these questions just make me laugh/cry.
1. What did I do in 2020 that I’ve never done before?
Washed my fruit in dish soap. Homeschooled three boys while working full time. Disinfected the inside of my car after every grocery trip for the first six months of the pandemic. I also learned that soap works by making the virus and germ particles slippery. It doesn’t kill them, it just makes them slip away down the sink.
2. Did you keep your resolutions?
Well I didn’t do too badly, all things considered!
3. What new lives brought you joy?
No new babies born in 2020 that I can recall, though my sister is expecting! June 2021, here we come! I also got to meet my brother’s girlfriend, and she is delightful.
4. For whom did you grieve, if anyone?
It is difficult to do justice to this question, after this year. We are lucky – coronavirus has not taken any of our close loved ones. I join the collective, communal grief of all our losses, big and small. I think we will be reckoning with this grief for many years to come.
5. Did you travel anywhere exciting?
Reading last year’s answer to this question makes me tired. Ha! In January I traveled to Seattle to interview for an in-house job with Amazon. (I was interviewed by about 7 people – the 5 women all loved me, but the 2 men who were hiring managers absolutely did not, and I didn’t get it. Oh well.) In January, February, and March, I went to NYC for a series of trials. I was there once a week or so – I’d fly up, spend two nights, and fly home. Then came March . . .
After coronavirus, we did travel a bit. We had planned to go to Disney World in June, and so instead of that trip we traveled to an Air BNB on Broken Bow Lake in Oklahoma, to “quaranteam” between four new walls. We isolated and tested before traveling to my parents’ house in July for a week there, and did the same before our week in August at my in-laws’. Then the little boys and I lived with my parents for two months of the school year to get help with virtual learning. We came up again to my parents’ for Christmas, again after isolating and testing. In between all those, however, I have not left the house. At the very start of the pandemic, I took an hour-long walk each day to decompress, but that stopped around June (HOT). Beyond that, and dropping boys off at school, I am pretty much home all the time. Travel CURTAILED. So glad I invested in a year membership of Clear so I could get through airports faster.
6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020?
Coronavirus vaccine, obvi. Other than that . . . I’d love to have maybe a closet system of some type? We do our best with our storage situation, but with no linen closet or hall closet or attic or basement . . . we just really need some clever pull down shelf style situation in our master closet, since it serves all those needs.
7. What are your most memorable moments of 2020?
What won’t I forget? A blur of weary sameness shot through with threads of fear, anxiety, joy, discovery. If this year were a pointillist painting, some of the points would be: my Seattle trip, and hopes dashed. (Luckily they weren’t the highest of high hopes.) Mardi Gras with my youngest sister and her family. Accepting the new firm job in March, and then the WalMart dash to gather homeschool supplies with only an hour to spare before the boys came home for seven straight months. (That shopping trip is seared in my memory – no carts, frenetic shoppers, I had to make fast decisions and carry it all in my arms and it was so heavy.) Reading the Ickabog to Liam in Oklahoma in June. Learning a teacher in the boys’ school died of Covid-19, and one of the Prof’s departmental secretaries. Filming the Great Baby Bake Off in July – throwing a (family only) birthday party for my SIL and MIL in August. The comfortable sameness of the two months in Nashville in September and October – Dairy Queen treats and spelling bees at dinner. Enforced Family Time on Thanksgiving. My first virtual deposition in December (I made it 8 months without taking a single dep!) Our Christmas trip.
8. What was your bravest moment and/or biggest achievement of the year?
Just . . . making it through the year.
9. What was your biggest failure and/or disappointment?
All the cancellations brought on by quarantine. And the stymied social connections. I am not going to miss my other job but I will miss going to Times Square so much – it was a cool place to have as a sort of “second home.”
10. Any memorable lapses in wellness? (Illness, injury, etc.?)
All things considered, I’m doing ok. I lost about fifteen pounds in the beginning of quarantine, and then gained it all back while living at my parents’ place in the fall. They have lots of cokes and ice cream and desserts and things around the house, and I can NOT BUY those things at the grocery but I find it pretty impossible to NOT EAT them if they’ve already been bought and brought into the home. I’d like to get that gone again – for lots of reasons but chiefly because of the heartburn brought on by the fatness just sitting on my stomach.
11. Where did most of your money go?
We saved a ton this year! Since our student loans went into a moratorium, we put that cash into a savings account, and pretty much left it there. Lots of people struggling worse than we are for sure – quarantine has been mostly a cost savings for us.
12. Is there a song or pop culture moment that will forever remind you of 2020?
Pop culture is moving so fast these days – it’s hard to keep up. I did enjoy the Rockefeller Christmas tree Twitter account, plus the little owl in the tree. I don’t have TikTok but I see a lot of TikTok videos on other social media and they can be pretty fun. Blinding Lights by the Weeknd will always remind me of my nephew Jacob (he loses his fool MIND when it comes on), and we heard that a lot this year.
13. Compared to this time last year are you (a) happier or sadder? (b) heavier or lighter? (c) richer or poorer?
I . . . don’t know. This is too tough a question for corona times.
14. How did you spend (a) Mardi Gras, (b) Easter, (c) Fourth of July, (d) Thanksgiving, (e) Christmas, and (f) New Years’ Eve?
(a) My sister came and stayed with us, and we had the best time with them! I didn’t walk in anything this year, more’s the pity since we aren’t really having a Mardi Gras in 2021. (b) Easter was home – those were early quarantine days. (c) The Fourth of July was spent with my parents. (d) Thanksgiving, we were home. (e) Christmas was in Nashville at my parents’. (f) NYE is in a few days. We rarely do much and this year, that’ll be the fashion!
15. Any new loves/friends/positive forces in your life?
New job/new friends. We mostly get to know each other via text, of course, since I have never worked in the office with them at all, but it’s a pretty solid group. Mostly young moms. Makes it easier – we commiserate.
16. What was your favorite tv and/or movie?
We just watched Soul on Disney Plus. That is a solid watch – highly recommend. Vera was a great series. Derry Girls. Endeavor. Unforgotten. The Repair Shop. We did a lot of re-watching of old shows, which I’ve read is a soothing technique for anxiety (since you know what’s coming, it pings your “life is predictable” reptilian happiness receptors and you feel safer.) So. That fits.
17. What was your favorite book?
I have been reading lots of mysteries. I really like Ruth Ware. Anne Perry’s Charlotte and Thomas Pitt series are quite fun. Kate Baer’s “What a Woman” is great.
18. What did you want and get for Christmas?
A guitar, a sewing table, nice stationery, a ukulele, more sun protective items (shirt/hat). A puzzle mat thing where if you’re halfway through a puzzle but need to move it aside, you can roll it up in the mat! I tested it on this trip and it worked great!
19. What did you want and not get?
I really wanted time to work on my sewing but alas, there was no time for anything but making meals and cleaning up from meals and then chasing children, for the most part.
20. What did you do on your 42nd birthday?
I was at my parents’ place for virtual learning, so we had a little joint birthday party (my mom’s bday is 3 days before mine). It was cute!
21. Anything notable in your fashion or appearance in 2020?
Like everyone, I have mastered the last minute “oh crap this is a VIDEO call??” look of business on top, sleepwear on bottom.
22. What kept you sane?
It’s been a hard year. I don’t . . . know what else to say.
23. Anything in the political arena you care to recall?
Kamala Harris is our next VP.
24. Who did you miss?
UGH, EVERYONE.
25. Closing remarks? Life lessons/morals/catch phrases, etc.?
(Sung to the tune of “Everything is Awesome”)
Everything is cancelled, Everything is closed, cuz of COVID-19
Everything is cancelled, Cuz we’re stuck in quarantine.
I’ve got nothing more pithy than that. All the surface level cliche statements about this weird year have been said. I need 2020 to percolate before I can add anything worth adding.