So today’s the first day of homeschooling, and the morning was challenging. With all this social distancing I’ve felt pretty sanguine thus far – I’m good in a crisis, can think on my feet, and we’ve got all the toilet paper and canned beans a family could need for a couple weeks of hunkering down. I’ve traveled for work practically once a week this whole year so far, so I actually am primed for some time at home. (I was last in NYC more than two weeks ago so I think despite my travel, I was spared.)
However, once I had them sitting at the table all lined up with their assignments, and Liam began a timed test instantly without waiting a darn second, Craig said “Mooom! Mooooooommmm! I need HELP!” and Jack said “what do I do first? I can’t get this link to work!” all at one time, I felt the panic rise.
I have a panic disorder as you all may know – the seeds were planted during our poverty-filled years of law school, for sure, but it really came into flower during my BigLaw years. (As weird as it is to be switching jobs right now, knowing that some of my former BigLaw partners would be demanding their brief edits even if my damn kid was in an ICU, I’m so glad to be out. Just in the nick.) The weird thing about it is how you can feel pretty well in control on the surface, handling things just fine, when all of a sudden something sneaks up on you and you suddenly feel the urge to run as fast as you can away from . . . whatever. Elementary school math and reading apps, in this instance.
So I did run away, for a few minutes, to my bedroom. They tried to follow me into my room and I barked at them to get out – it’s not all soothing mom tone and reassurance around here, sometimes it’s Crazy Witch Mom and you’d better run. I breathed, meditated, cried a second, and then came back out and began my work as a Not Very Good or Patient Elementary School Teacher. There is a reason I don’t do this work on the reg – I lose my patience in a nanosecond. The Prof is much more patient, and he took over handling Craig while I tried to rein in Liam. It didn’t help that this was a surprise to all their teachers so the instructional material all got dropped on us at 8 this morning (which they are being tested on as we go, FYI, so we can’t skip without consequence, though we’re adopting a Done is Better Than Perfect attitude). Trying to read and think through three curricula, hastily slapped together, while the boys are all hassling me (always me, never Daaaaaaadd, always Moooooomm) . . . not a great start. Craig’s poor kindergarten teacher wrote us the saddest email along with her instructional links – she and her aide were not ready to say good-bye to their little Tigers, “we were supposed to have until May with them!” Everyone’s reeling.
However, we soldiered on, as you do.
For our first academic block, they each did two subjects or so. Craig did more because his little chunks of time for assignments are shorter, but he can always fill in time with apps or reading. Then we had our PE block. I drew a blue slip from our Decision Jar – sidewalk chalk! So I moved the cars out of the driveway and they filed out and drew all over the sidewalk, and the brick building next door.
Of course, their studious and patient chalk art creating devolved into taking turns seeing who could smash the chalk into the most pieces by throwing it hard at the ground. And now they’re sword fighting and Nerf gunning, while I sip cold coffee and type.
Yesterday was better. We did our church activities in the morning – I found a stained glass cross project to do for Sunday School, and then printed our church bulletins (available online) and we took turns doing the readings. Our pastor, like many pastors, preached to an empty church and videotaped it, so we watched that sermon and then wound it all up with a prayer. We will do this every week, to keep the structure up and give us a way to fill some time.
In the afternoon, we played cornhole in our super tiny backyard and watered our plants, and had some time for screens.
We watched the second Percy Jackson movie as part of our family fun night. Craigy then woke up scared in the middle of the night, convinced Medusa was in his room.
Luckily, I was still wide awake when this occurred because I drank a soothing, nighttime cup of fully caffeinated White Peony tea, having failed to check the caffeine level and presuming that a flower-based tea was decaf. So part of my tears this morning was also likely due to having had like 4 hours of fitful sleep, full of apocalyptic dreams and startling awake (as one does when heavily caffeinated at 3 am during a pandemic).
They boys are reminding me that it is now 11:00 – time for the Lunch/Screentime block. So off we go. They will be stripping off their chalk-covered clothes, we’ll run a load of laundry, and then I’ll plan their afternoon academic block while they play Minecraft and get out of my hair. New Weekday Normal, Day One: Not a Total Disaster. Achievement Unlocked.