Richard is a former contractor who worked with my company for six months a couple of years ago. He’s a handsome young Frenchman, very charming, very nice, very much a Casanova. While he was here, he met and fell in love with a local girl, and eventually they married, got his green card, had a son (dare I say, as sweetly as possible, not in that order). His baby boy is seven months now, and Richard came by today to say hello and show us some new pictures of the baby. He stepped into my office on the way out.
“’Ello, Geellian. I ‘ear your good news about ze baby boy!” <I can really write the heck out of a French accent>
“Hi, Richard! Yes, yes, we’re having a boy.” pat stomach and smile
“Oh, mai, you are what? Seex months? Seven months?”
smile falters “Uh, no, just three. Three months. Well three and a half really. Three and, you know, a week and some.”
“Oh, wow. You are having a large one, eh? Just ze one baby in there? Do you have your first echogram peectures? You are sure eet eez only one?”
“Yeah, yes. Here are the pictures.” pulls them off mini-fridge kept in office*
“Ahh. So where is ze peni$?”
swallows a smile “Um, here. Right here.”
“Oh, it is a nice beeg one. Very nice.”
“Well, um. Thanks. Yeah. We, um. We’re very proud.”
* it is required to put ultrasound photos on a fridge immediately upon receipt. It was in my pregnancy guide, between Rule # 8 – cry at every diaper commercial, and Rule # 10 – don’t drink O’Douls unless you want majorly bad gas the next day, even if it makes you feel like one of the grown ups again.
Oh wow! You guys know you\’re having a boy??!! Congratulations!! (Sorry, I\’ve been living under a rock). Welcome to team blue. My husband was also very proud of our son\’s proportionally large pee-pee at our 16-week ultrasound. Men.