The last of the “pre-written” posts . . .
I very much look forward to 2015, for a lot of reasons. 2014 was not a bad year, but it was one that had to be “gotten through.” It was not a banner year for my health, that’s for sure. I’ve hit or miss some long runs and some pilates classes, and I kept us in vegetables and nutrient rich meals, but there’s been no regular exercise and lots of comfort eating. And of course, I have not regularly slept more than a couple of hours per night in a year and a half. The deprivation and self-neglect takes its toll.
Craig made 2014 crushingly hard – in the most worthwhile way. He is an easy, happy, chill little baby – but a baby nonetheless, and a heavy one. I’m here to tell you – I love that kid so much. He makes my heart sing. He’s my little soul mate, my little bestie – wherever I am in the house, he crawls to me, then pulls up on my lower legs, clings to my knees, and happily chills there. Sometimes I get hollered baby instructions wafting up to me from down there, sometimes I get happy babble, sometimes he just stands quietly next to me, observing the world from the safety of my shadow. Most times I cannot resist picking him up and holding him close. My back suffers in turn electric zaps of crippling pain, and a dull burning ache – my wrists are carpal-tunnely, my shoulders and rotator cuffs throb, my feet cramp and my knees are stiff most mornings. There aren’t many people in the world for whom I would suffer such bodily discomfort. I’ll miss Baby Craig and his indomitable attachment to me, and I’ll be a little wistful to see him grow more and more independent as he moves from age 2 to age 3. But my body is ready for him to transition to full toddler. And I say with glee that as I have weaned him almost completely, at last at last he has finally begun sleeping twelve solid hours each night, as of the past week. Just like Jack – as soon as I turned off the taps, he lost interest in being up all the livelong night.
So, all that to say I am not saying good-bye and good riddance to 2014 exactly – we were blessed by a largely boring, almost hibernating year. The baby kept us close to home for the most part. I savored him, but also struggled to survive him, if that makes sense. We could not have closed out our family with a more perfect baby – one I love, and one whose babyhood I have enjoyed, but one whose giant baby body has made my creaking 36 year old bones very glad that they never again have to endure the slog of a baby’s first year. 2015 will be about putting my postpartum pieces back together. Here are the resolutions I have chosen, to that end. I was careful to be as realistic and kind to myself as possible – after all, the Professor’s sabbatical is over now, and I will once again be a single mom for several days a week, now with Three! Little! Boys! in my care. There’s a lot here, but each goal is fairly modest. I guess I’m just excited to get back into life again, because I tried to trim this down and just couldn’t of any of these things that I didn’t desperately want to do:
Self: After sharing in my birthday post that maturity had turned my focus outward, I’m kind of chuckling at how much of this list is ME ME ME. But ya’ll – I cannot help you unless I help myself, and I need some big style help after this year of baby-driven self sacrifice. So it’s a me-heavy resolution list, divided into the typical three sub-sets.
- Body. Morning yoga – daily, even five short minutes. Quarterly massage or facial – Treat Yo Self. 3x a workweek exercise at lunch – run or even walk if I can’t sweat because of an afternoon meeting. 1x a weekend exercise. 2x meatless days a week. Explore more grains/quinoa meals, cutting down on pasta and bread. More spinach/smoothie breakfasts, fewer bagels. Make dessert count – if I’m going to indulge, it needs to be good, mindful indulgence of something worthwhile, and not distracted noshing on mini candybars to alleviate boredom at work.
- Mind. Read all the Man Booker prize candidates for 2014. Try to make a habit of one tv-free day a week – make it some of the days the Professor is out of town, and use that night for a bath or novel or writing to friends. Some nights he should be in town, and we could read together. (Were you expecting me to say we could talk? 😉 We do talk a lot.) Blog regularly. Research printing and binding of archives of this blog, and a few others I kept over the years (private journals for the boys). Learn computer coding or at least more to do with computers, so I understand them better in my work and play. Choose boredom more often than mindless phone interaction – be purposeful in my phone/internet time.
- Spirit. Quarterly haircuts (instead of annual!) Make an effort to get out in nature much more often – like I did during Craig’s maternity leave. Two hours kid-free every other weekend, returning the favor to the Professor on the alternate weekend – going to the grocery store alone doesn’t count. Continue the practice of removing electronic clutter that detracts (read: politically strident facebook feeds, reactionary and non-educational news, ads, keeping all push notifications off my phone). Add one desired furniture item to the house that makes life easier – I’m thinking either end tables in our room, or some sort of drawers in our room, so I can get my undies and socks out of the crate where they currently reside. Find storage solution for growing stash of digital photos/videos.
Family: 1x month outdoor outing as a family (Mardi Gras parades count!). Take one day off work to spend with each kid, alone – random mid-week day. One day per quarter – in the fourth quarter, take a day off for spouse. Figure out video game regulation with the boys. Work harder on Jack’s piano practice. Keep the older boys in baseball and get them to their practice somehow. Slowly add to the kids’ chores. Take a date night every other month. Eat outdoors on the porch more often when weather allows.
Friends: Plan on hosting a friend in NOLA a weekend this late winter/spring. Write more letters to out of town friends – facebook and blogging are good group updates but nothing beats targeted attention. Cultivate local friendships beyond my work group, by continuing to invite people to things.
Career: 2 hours per week, in 0.5-1 hour chunks, reading “the latest.” Begin forwarding all electronic newsletters to legal secretary and have her compile a digest of articles, then flag the ones I want to read and have her print them for me. Bring in one client myself.
Social Activism/Charity/Volunteer: Work in my new role with Moms Demand Action to bring a cultural shift in America’s attitudes towards guns – making safe storage a no-brainer and easy to do, and keeping them out of the hands of domestic abusers and terrorists. Status quo with our church involvement – keep it up. Continue to do work with the Volunteer Lawyers’ Program, and on the Board on which I serve. Maintain our charity budget at last year’s level – this will go up once daycare goes down, but for now we’re good.
Think that’s enough? Really, most of this would just put me back where I was before Craig crashed the party – but even reading it gets me psyched up for the year.
This ends the series of posts that I’d started before. From here on out, it’s real time. Lots to say about the inclusion of video games in our lives, about the boys, about lots of things – but I think 3 posts is enough for one day, even if I wrote them all weeks ago!