Last night, he cried at 9:30, we ignored, he went back to sleep in 10 minutes. At 10:30, I gave a dream feed, and he pretty much stayed asleep. At 11 he cried, I ignored, and in 10 minutes he went back to sleep. At 2:00, I ignored, and he continued to cry. For 2 hours, I did the Ferber thing. The – hi I’m here, I pat you on the back, and then leave for 10 or 15 minutes thing. Finally, at 4am, I looked at my very angry, tantrum-throwing, hungry baby and said – Oh dear god, you win – and I picked him up and I nursed him and he ate like one who has never eaten before and then he went right to sleep.
Since the schedule, he hasn’t had a full night’s sleep yet, but last night was the worst because last night I was determined, whatever the cost to my own sleep, that I would not give in. Hence the 2 hour marathon. I was disappointed in myself for giving in, and disappointed in myself for not just feeding him right away and adding 2 hours of sleep to my night. I still don’t know the right way to handle the situation when it comes up again tonight, which it will.
So. The schedule is still not totally working. Not with nights. With days, he’s spot on already – the naps, the snacks, the meals, they come right on time for him and he goes down for a nap with nary a cry. I put him in the crib, he reaches for his binkit, I hand it to him, turn on the white noise maker, shut the door, and he’s out. Same for bedtime at night – out like a light, in seconds. He just keeps on waking up through the night. Ignoring helps most times, but that 1am, or 2am, or 3am, or whenever he feels like doing it – well, he’s fiercely holding onto that. It’s so hard to know when it’s going to be a cry to ignore, and when it’s a cry to deal with. Let me tell you, too, that we sleep in separate rooms and we have no baby monitor, so these are just the full on super loud WAAAAAAHHH cries that wake me up – I’m sure there’s a good deal of stirring and fussing through the night that I don’t even hear.
Meanwhile, my sister and brother in law set an alarm to wake up their one week old in order to feed her at night, because otherwise she sleeps through. Aaaaaaand, I officially hate them.
I’m sticking with the schedule, because I think babies thrive with scheduling. And I’ll keep fumbling through the nights, hoping I make good decisions, knowing I am not at my best but also knowing that I am a crack ace at managing my life on 2-3 hours of nightly sleep, and so dealing with him properly is well within my realm of capability. I expect this will take a while. I’m committed. And sleepy. And committed. And I look terrible. But dang it, I’m committed, and that counts for something.
We see Baby Ella tomorrow night! Woot!
hang in there! and now here comes my advice – for whatever it\’s worth. (and not that you asked…) it could be that he\’s going through a growth spurt. it he\’s able to put himself back to sleep within a few minutes, he\’s probably just waking to be waking. if, however, he cries time after time, my guess is that he\’s hungry. leah did this too. i would let her cry a few minutes longer each night and eventually the night feed became her morning feed. there is no right or wrong in raising your baby, so please don\’t be hard on yourself! you are a fabulous mom!! keep up the great work!
Thank you super jane. That helps. He did better last night – just a 3:00 wakeup, and I fed him immediately.
And – growth spurt? He\’s bigger than most 1 year olds already! We have a giant monster baby. (23 pounds, for real. That is in like the 60th percentile . . . for a one year old. It is the 99th percentile for a 7 month old.)