I have worn makeup and accessories – bracelet and necklace and watch, oh my! – for going on three weeks now, excluding just ONE day in honor of my near death-by-gastrointestinal-distress experience. At this very moment, I am sitting at school finishing up my reading whilst wearing (in addition to my ball and cha– I mean, my wedding rings):
- a silver Fossil watch with a light blue face I’ve had for years and forgot about (as such, it doesn’t work, but if I keep this up I’m going to go crazy and buy a battery for it);
- a delicate silver stars and moons bracelet I’ve also had for years and forgot about. *How about you just append “I’ve had for years and forgot about” to the end of each of these bullet points, and then I can stop typing it?*
- dangly pearly earrings and a faux pearl drop necklace;
- mascara and nude eyeshadow – I’ve been brave and on the different days I’ve worn all kinds of colors worthy of an eighties music video, but today was weary of experimentation;
- mauve lipstick, with gloss on top;
- bronzer on the cheeks (does one put bronzer elsewhere? I felt the need to specify it was on the cheeks only, though perhaps that’s like saying “nail polish on the nails”);
- nail polish on the nails – a dark purpley blue, a brave color gotten via manicure yesterday in honor of my lovely report card;
- a belt, clean jeans with no spitup stains on them, an ironed shirt;
- a light spray of perfume (I’m of the spray-the-air-and-step-into-it school of perfume application);
- dried and styled hair.
NOT LOOKING LIKE A HOMELESS PERSON/NEW MOTHER: THE CONS
As you can tell from the length of this list, it takes me significantly longer to prepare my lovely self for the day now. The jewelry doesn’t take long, and I obviously don’t paint my nails every day, but the makeup and the hair-drying nonsense is really adding to my morning routine (though I only do my hair every other day). Another annoyance is the amount of maintenance all of this requires throughout the day. I am constantly reapplying lipstick, and also chasing lipstick back towards my lips as it tries to escape to other parts of my face – would lipliner stop this from happening? I am not used to having all this stuff on my face, and frequently rub my eyes and then glance down at a smear of color on my fists and then – ZOINKS! – have to run to the bathroom to fix whatever I just smeared. I got red lipstick on a white shirt the other day because I forgot to be careful when drying my hair upside down. My hair is constantly sticking to my lips. And I am really turned off by drinking coffee from a lipstick stained mug – I have to wipe that grossness off after each sip. I’m also somewhat anxious about my manicure – I don’t want it to chip, so I’m more careful with my fingers. In a word, I’ve become a total priss.
NOT LOOKING LIKE ETC. ETC. : THE PROS
I always felt kind of blah and down when I hadn’t dried my flat-fine hair, and it was caught up in a sort of ponytail-bun-gob that was flat against my head, and my clothes were wrinkled, and I was in sneakers and a t shirt. I would spend a lot of psychic energy on those days on willing myself not to feel as blah as I know I look. The opposite is true now – if my energy’s flagging, a glance at my polished nails and cute “new” bracelet give me a little hit of serotonin, like a new pair of shoes, and it perks me up. I no longer defensively think “I have a new baby, so don’t you dare judge me!” at all the people who look at me all day long. Although I’m still not doing morning yoga, my mornings in the bathroom taking care with my appearance are a meditation of sorts. Without getting to Rah Rah Self Love on you, it is nice to carve out a few minutes of my day to take care of me, something that has absolutely no impact on the other three humans in my house (The Professor professes to find me beautiful no matter how I come – made up like a hussy and dressed to the nines, or bare of face in a burlap sack, and he’s been good-natured and supportive of my experiment, exclaiming each day – Wow! Makeup! You look great!). And I do think, at least in a professional setting, it gives me more credibility if I look as though I’ve taken that time. Being an actress by training also gives me insight into how important it is to costume yourself each day for how you want the day to go – sick? Put on comfy jammies and put your hair in braids and relax. Arguing in court? Put on the armor of lipstick and fashionable shoes and dare that judge to not take you seriously.
THE TAKEAWAY
I’m by no means done, but I’m enjoying the experiment. It’s fun to do new things, reinvent yourself, especially during the blah post-Christmas pre-springtime winter months. In all, I find the limitations to living my life and doing fun things kind of annoying – I hate having to take care for my shoes, not kissing my children to spare my lipstick, being overly fussy when I eat or drink to be sure I don’t spoil my outfit with one wayward drop. These things don’t come naturally to me. At the same time, I do like not having a huge food stain on my sweater, not folding my arms to hide the heinously wrinkled shirt I didn’t realize I put on til I was away from home and couldn’t change, having some wave and body in my hair, and wearing the dozens of accessories that I’ve gathered over the years and been too afraid to try out.
Somewhere in here is a happy medium. I’m working my way towards it, one eyeshadow color at a time.
Forgot to tell you when we last chatted … I got makeup for Christmas, too! And am still savoring the newness of it too much to use it yet! 🙂
It is so quickly sullied once you use it! Powders everywhere, the lipsticks all mished and scraped, the brushes dirtied. Sigh. And wearing it every day, it’s also going fast – I don’t know how people can afford to keep a drawer full of it! This crap is expensive! Ah, the price of looking smoking hot!
You’ve inspired me. And now I’m tired. All this blow drying of hair business makes me want to cut it short again. I cursed some woman on TV yesterday for her perfect coif. Don’t they know that ‘regular’ folks don’t have the time, money or skill to use hot rollers on a daily basis just to achieve volume?! That said, my advice to you is this: Cover Girl lip slicks. Abandon the lipstick and associated lip liner. Stick with one product- hint of color and shine (not too much though), inexpensive, and available at the grocery store (since ya know you’ll lose one, a toddler will eat another and a third will melt in the car…).
Gift with purchase. You must learn when the gift with purchase time comes for Lancome, Estee Lauder, Clinique, and then milk it. You’ll never have to buy lip gloss, lipsticks, mascara, or eye cream again. And sometimes the bags are cute enough to use as totes.