Excellent Business Ideas I Have Had Recently

[Please don’t tell me if these already exist, I want to feel like a genius] [except if you know an indoor dog park in the NOLA area, that recommendation I’ll take]

1. A foot presser button automatic door opener system so that my dog can open the back door by pushing his paw down. The door will swing open slowly, and then close behind him. It would have a button on both sides so he can let himself in and out and I don’t have to get up 1,000 times a day whenever he gently and persistently scratches at the glass.
2. An indoor workspace/coffee shop/dog park. I picture something like an indoor soccer field. It is excruciatingly hot and can you tell from my list so far that this dog is driving me crazy? He needs exercise but it’s too hot out to get much beyond a couple-block walk. An indoor dog park would be amazing, and if I can buy a coffee and do some work on my laptop while he runs wild, all the better.
3. Online dating but for friends. I have never done online dating so I don’t even know how it works, but I picture various adults putting up bios of what they’re looking for in a friend and also where they live [we will work out the safety concerns later], so that you can find a mystery-reader or a fan of Star Wars or a wine drinker that is right down the street. Swipe left, swipe right, join group “dates” – and no pervy dudes allowed!
   • [I just had to get up and let the dog out]
4. Uber for minors. As a lawyer, I shudder at the liability but man would it be nice to be able to throw money at my “chauffeur” problem sometimes.
   • [I just shut the door after the dog came back in]
5. A mani pedi truck that rides around town like an ice cream truck. I get mani/pedis very rarely but I’d probably get wheedled out of way more of my money if it was parked right outside my house every couple weeks. This could also work for a coffee shop kind of thing, or tacos. (We do have lots of food trucks around NOLA but they park places that are NOT right outside my house.)
   • [JFC dog please just be in or out. In or out. Choose.]
6. School newsletter concierge. I would pay someone to receive every single communication from each of our boys’ four schools (YES four – we have three boys, but one of them goes to art school as well as regular school). Calendar the important dates, pull together all of the permission slips and decisions that need made into a single packet with those little sticky arrows that say “Sign Here,” sign us up for a reasonable amount of volunteer time and just tell us where to go, pay teacher gifts and organize teacher appreciation and theme weeks and bill back any costs, coordinate outside tutoring and sports and etc. Seriously, it’s a full time job to manage all of the info the schools push at us. I’d happily throw money at this, too, so I don’t have to wade through the inapplicable stuff and can stay focused on the important stuff.

That’s what I’ve got for you right now. Anyone want to invest?