I hope to do a recap of . . . *waves hands around to indicate the last few crazy months . . .* But in the meantime I am stuck in a car for another hour or two and thought I’d use this little bit of time to check in on my resolutions from last year. Because I mostly met them and I’m quite proud of myself!
- RG shall join a gym quite close to her work, no matter the cost, so she can workout at lunch which is the only way she ever makes gym visits possible. UPDATE: I did this! I did it! I also purchased the services of a trainer. This shizz is totes expensive, but it’s done wonders for my back pain, my overall strength, everything. I’m quite proud of myself. I have not lost any weight and man, maybe I never will, but my legs are solid muscle, my arms are stronger (if not quite SOLID muscle at this point), and I am deadlifting over 100 lbs which means my back is killing it.
- RG shall begin to drink soothing loose teas on weeknights, as a replacement for excess bourbon, which is delicious, but caloric. UPDATE: I did this for a brief while but work got crazy so I’m back to drinking excess bourbon. Not ideal, but I’m not going to lie about it, much as I want to. I am working actively on the work issues so, watch this space.
- RG shall use screen time monitoring services on her phone to limit screen time to four hours per day by the fourth quarter. UPDATE: I did this, til I got a new phone, and then didn’t re-do it in the new phone. However, except for some lazy moments, I don’t do too much on my phone. That is because I am working 24/7. Sigh.
- RG shall meditate at least three times per week. UPDATE: Nope. Didn’t do this. Still feel the need to, but am not consistent. This is largely because I am constantly – and I mean constantly – interrupted. At home, at work, whatever. I cannot lay down for 10 minutes and meditate without someone hollering MOOOOOOM. I don’t really know how to resolve this.
- RG shall purchase a CD or other long term savings vehicle for a small amount of savings, so she can feel like a grown up. UPDATE: No. However, we wiped almost all of our unsecured debt except student loans, so that’s a thing.
- RG shall find an endocrinologist, because her last one was terrible and she does not need to go back to that jagweed, but it would be good to have one. UPDATE: Did it! Made the appointment in June, but she was not available until December, so I just saw her. We are trying some things.
- RG shall get her cyber security in order, including changing all passwords to really hard ones, adding 2 step security controls, and figuring out parental controls better. UPDATE: Did it! LastPass! Love it.
- RG shall print this blog, which she’s wanted to do for years through a blog-printing service but gets intimidated by the prospect. UPDATE: Nope. Ah well. One day.
Now for the year recap!
1. What did I do in 2019 that I’ve never done before?
Went to Austin! Hiked in Big Bend, Texas. Deadlifted over 100 lbs. Deadlifted anything at all. Boxed. I am terrible at boxing so far but getting better.
2. Did you keep your resolutions?
See above! Did pretty well I’d say!
3. What new lives brought you joy?
Oh man, this was the year of All The Babies. Nephew born in February (Jacob), Niece born to a different sister in October (Margot), plus 4 of my husband’s cousins had babies (Alexander, Ariyah, Aaron, Rowan). I love me some babies.
4. For whom did you grieve, if anyone?
My husband just lost his Grandpa a few days ago. It would not be fair to call what I feel “grieving,” since he was not my Grandpa, but I do feel a combination of sorrow and joy that he has finally gone home – something he has wanted for many years.
5. Did you travel anywhere exciting?
Indeed! I practically lived in New York City this spring, taking and defending a ton of depositions. I went to Nashville in February to meet mah new babby boy, Jacob. I went to Puerto Rico in March for a work conference, and brought my sister along for a vacation. I went to NYC three times in April – phew. Exhaustion. We went to my in-laws’ for Easter. We headed to Big Bend, Texas, to go camping with our sons on their first week of summer break. As is our tradition, we spent the Fourth of July in Clemson, and a week in August in Nashville with my family. Immediately following both my July and August trips, I had separate trips to NYC for a trial, which was fun/stressful. In October, we took a long weekend to Navarre Beach in Florida, which was pretty great. I also went to Austin for a girl’s trip with my MILP ladies. In November, I went to San Antonio to meet mah new babby girl, Margot. We headed to North Carolina for Thanksgiving at my sister’s house, and to NYC (for fun) and a trip to Clemson for Christmas, neither of which I have had the opportunity to write up yet but man I hope I find the time.
6. What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019?
More time to read novels!
7. What are your most memorable moments of 2018?
Hmm. I’ll definitely never forget making chicken fajitas over a campstove in an absolute gale while we were camping at Big Bend this summer. The NYC trip with the boys was a highlight – the Rockettes Christmas Spectacular was a highlight. So magical. Austin with the girls was really special, as always. I was able to sing with our choir for the Maundy Thursday service, which is always one of my favorite experiences.
8. What was your bravest moment and/or biggest achievement of the year?
Man, just surviving this year at work has been an achievement. It has been a brutal year – a challenge to my dignity, mental and physical health, and happiness. There have been good moments but it has largely been a struggle, and I’m proud of myself for staggering through it, while also exploring healthier options.
9. What was your biggest failure and/or disappointment?
I had some good friends here, colleagues of the Prof. For boring Prof-workplace-related reasons, there was a falling out, and all of a sudden I stopped seeing them. They still see each other, but I’m no longer invited. And that was a real disappointment – it made me quite sad. I’m less sad now – I mean let’s be real, I have a bajillion friends, social media almost means I have TOO many friends. But these girls were important to me and it was a bummer to be, in essence, collateral damage of a work political drama. So. Meh.
10. Any memorable lapses in wellness? (Illness, injury, etc.?)
No. I feel pretty badass these days. That said, I have developed a panic disorder that I never had before, which is no fun. But I’m managing it.
11. Where did most of your money go?
The usual, plus aggressive debt repayment (the unsecured debt is nearly gone!), and helping a family member.
12. Is there a song or pop culture moment that will forever remind you of 2019?
Game of THRONES! We caught up on it and watched the finale. Which was, you know, pretty terrible, but still worth watching. GBBO has been really fun. Also, Jack and I have been watching Murder She Wrote and Magnum PI, and while these are not timely pop culture items, they are part of my 2019 timeline!
13. Compared to this time last year are you (a) happier or sadder? (b) heavier or lighter? (c) richer or poorer?
(a) Both happier and more anxious? Is that possible?
(b) Heavier! As in fat? Definitely heavier. Give thanks if your thyroid works, folks, if it doesn’t you’ll miss it.
(c) Significantly less in debt, for sure.
14. How did you spend (a) Mardi Gras, (b) Easter, (c) Fourth of July, (d) Thanksgiving, (e) Christmas, and (f) New Years’ Eve?
(a) I walked in Wonder Woman again, with the girls who aren’t my friends anymore, and it was fun! That was the last time I saw them, actually. I left for Puerto Rico on Mardi Gras day, which was hectic and exhausting! (b) I am pretty sure we were in Clemson. (c) The Fourth of July was in SC at the in-laws’ place. (d) Thanksgiving in Durham, NC, at my sister’s sprawling estate. 😉 (e) Christmas was in NYC and Clemson. (f) NYE is in a few days and we don’t plan that far ahead. I imagine we will be home on the couch, which frankly will be just fine.
15. Any new loves/friends/positive forces in your life?
Besides All The Babies, some friendships at work have definitely deepened. Mostly through absolutely trying miserable experiences. We’ve walked through fire and if you gotta suffer, it’s nice to suffer with wonderful supportive people.
16. What was your favorite tv and/or movie?
Murder She Wrote and Magnum PI with Jack every night. It’s so fun. I enjoyed the Downton Abbey movie in Austin with the MILPs – I think that’s the only movie I’ve seen in a theater all year. We enjoyed Game of Thrones this year and GBBO. Schitt’s Creek is an absolute blast. Unbelievable was heartbreaking and amazing work.
17. What was your favorite book?
I finally read Eat Pray Love, guys. And I liked it! So I bought myself Elizabeth Gilbert’s latest, City of Girls, for myself for Christmas. I have not been able to read much this year and it’s TERRIBLE.
18. What did you want and get?
For Christmas? I got an Instant Pot! Woo!
19. What did you want and not get?
I really wanted whisks. I’m just gonna go buy myself some whisks.
20. What did you do on your 41st birthday?
21. Anything notable in your fashion or appearance in 2019?
I have – shhhhhh – started dyeing my hair. Maybe I’m a bad feminist, but I didn’t love the grays so. Bye bye! It takes forever though, jeez.
22. What kept you sane?
I don’t even know. Am I sane? I keep adding anxiety medications. I think it would be fair to say that Klonopin has kept me sane – it pulls back the really bad anxiety, when I feel like I could flip into panic attack mode any time. The gym has helped a lot too. I’m working on changing life circumstances so anxiety is not so present, but until that happens I’m medicating away my pain, like a good American.
23. Anything in the political arena you care to recall?
Absolutely not. Ugh.
24. Who did you miss?
I mean I travel to see family a lot, but I never get downtime. Would it be too wonky to say I miss myself? Sniff sniff? I want more me-time.
25. Closing remarks? Life lessons/morals/catch phrases, etc.?
I guess right now I’m in the phase where I’m very aware of the growth of the children and the brevity of our time together, and I’m trying to engage with them as much as possible. I’m also allowing us to make a significant investment in my own health (vis a vis gym plus trainer), to keep me in fighting form, and I’m not feeling guilty about it (most of the time). The job is kicking my butt but other than that, things are good.