Housey McHouseyface

We’ve made our five millionth offer on a house and are waiting to hear.  We are one of many, and we offered low because it needs work, so I’m presuming our offer will expire without word because that’s just how this process rolls.

We’re definitely in compromise mode.  I’ll take anything!  Anything that’s not $750,000 but still has three rooms that can reasonably be described as bedrooms, and two baths, only one of which need actually have a bath in it!  Well, that’s an exaggeration of our position, truly.  I can live in just about anything, but we have to think of this as an investment as well.  After watching many folks I love be stuck in homes that they could not sell for years, I am a tiny bit gun-shy about living any old place.  We would consider renting, except rents are out of control here right now.  Totally bats.  Like, $3000 a month for a 3 bedroom, if you can even find one.  Also, there are no tenant protections in Louisiana – you can be evicted or have your rent hiked without much recourse.  Also, we need the mortgage interest tax deduction, or we’ll just have to pay an extra $500 a month toward tax from here to the end of the year anyway.  So we can rent for essentially $3500 a month . . . or sink our savings into buying and pay less per month for a bigger place.

This one we offered on has some issues, but it’s huge.  Huge is helpful – huge means plenty of space and not opening closets only to have stuff rain down all over you.  The Prof is a minimalist (she says, furrowing her brow with remembrances of fishing stuff out of the trash, the disposability of which was the subject of Much Marital Wrangling).  I, while not quite as weird as him (he throws book jackets away, people – BOOK JACKETS – to SAVE SPACE), also lean toward Less is More, and I’m really pretty good at keeping clutter down and cleaning out closets.  When I get to it.  It’s a seasonal thing, though, because it takes some physical effort and not a little emotional fortitude to clear away the mountains of stuff that seem an inevitable accompaniment to three boys.  I can’t keep up with it all day by day, and so I like having a spot to shove everything that needs dealt with, for a later time.  (Just today I cleared just such a pile out of the boys’ closets, in fact!)

All this to say, I’ve looked at tiny homes but I’m much more enthused about this big one.  It has 5 bedrooms – it’s listed as having 4, but I definitely counted and there are definitely 5.  (It’s possible one didn’t have a closet – you aren’t allowed to call it a bedroom if it doesn’t have a closet, I’ve learned). It also has a giant pantry, attached to an admittedly terrible kitchen.  It has three full bathrooms, although the master bath sucks.  It also has a “dressing room” attached to the giant master which is probably bigger than our current bedroom.  There is room for each boy to have his own room, a separate guest room, a study (the dressing room would likely serve as our study), a formal living plus casual den, double porches . . . lots to love.

Ahhh, but I’m not in love – too dangerous.  Also it has issues, as aforementioned.  And the kitchen is a dungeon – kind of a bummer, as I really wanted an open plan.  But like I said – compromise!  Our offer expires in an hour, and no word.  Another one just popped up on the MLS – I’m already planning to visit its open house tomorrow, as my beaten and scarred househunting heart has learned that we never win offers – even ones we make within a day of listing.  One day we’ll win.  In the meantime, I’ll stay pessimistic so I can be pleasantly surprised when that day comes.

Now, off to bill.

****Updated literally a half hour after publishing to add – nope! Declined! And the search continues. . .