Rubber Duck*
I think the whole stupid world is out to get me today. I’m not normally a negative nelly, but this is the way I roll when I don’t get any sleep, which I haven’t for almost a week now, due to a stupid cold and stupid pollen and how it affects my two year old’s stupid lungs. (I want you to know I almost called him my stupid two year old, but I restrained myself, and for that I deserve a night in a stupid hotel away from his stupid cough.) This is, hands down, the busiest and most stressful week I’ve ever had in law school, and that includes first semester exams. It all has to do with me volunteering to help out with a big event at the school this weekend, in an attempt to improve my networking and get out there and blah blah blah (I also have several assignments due and, for some reason, about fifty makeup classes to attend since my professors skipped most of the first few months of the semester. And we have a visit from some lovely family members which had to fall at this time, and though they’ve been very self sufficient and wonderful to visit with and no trouble at all, still I want to spend time with them, too and I am feeling spread so thin and plus THE MONSTROUS PREGNANCY HEARTBURN. I HAZ IT. It makes everything seem fifty times worse). It’s an intense amount of work for a very short period, and it would have been HELPFUL to have had at least a modicum of sleep for the few days leading up to and including that short period, but apparently God hates me and has sent me punishment in the form of a niggling, irritating toddler cough that only abates when mommy holds him upright all night long.
Today I had a lovely two hour chunk of time for a nap, a chunk to which I have been dearly looking forward. During this chunk I settled down with the tv on in order to distract, relax, and slowly drift away into the blissful land of snooze. And then my stupid dog timed his perfectly pitched, shrill, single, sudden bark-at-nothing for just when I was drifting off, and then once I’d completely soaked him with the Bad Cat/Dog Spray for being annoying, and I’d finally calmed down and started to drift off again, the goddam neighbor decides to edge the grass mere feet from my front door. After slamming the door shut and curling up for one more try, my phone rang and I had to sit on my hands in order not to throw it across the room. It’s like the whole world is conspiring against me. Now I’m staring at the clock, fully aware that Jack has been asleep for over two hours and will be waking up any minute and there’s just no point in trying again, and I feel like crying. I hate being this tired.
Today in class a rude kid who thinks he’s cute and frequently eats up a good deal of class time showing off his rapier wit and disrespectful comedy got mildly chewed out by a professor, the first time I’ve seen someone take him to task for being an arrogant, inappropriate ass. It’s nice to know that in every rain, a little sun must shine.
*This is what the pelican says in Finding Nemo when he’s cursing, and I JUST figured out the curse word(s) it’s supposed to replace, and I have been moodily and self-pityingly chanting it all day long. It’s important to wallow when one is good and grumpy.