Categorizing Things is Overrated

Jack – or Jacqueline?

June 10, 2008 /
When confronted with a delicious and beautiful infant of indeterminate sex (see picture above), a passerby who wishes to compliment the baby has several choices confronting him/her.  He/she may:
 
(a) avoid pronouns; i.e. What a beautiful child!  or How darling!  You must be so proud.
 
(b) ask outright; i.e. So lovely!  Is this beautiful baby a boy or a girl?
 
(c) take a stab based on the clothing and possibly be corrected; i.e. She’s a sweet little thing – oh, I’m sorry, he is a handsome little man.
 
OR, one can take the approach of the kindly older gentleman cashier at our local bookstore, where I went to buy Jack’s first-month-birthday book (he gets a book for each month-birthday until he’s 24 months – that will get our kid library up and running!):
 
The Exchange
 
ME (holding Jack in one arm and wrestling out my wallet with the other): I’ll take Puff the Magic Dragon please.
 
CASHIER: What a beautiful baby!  She is so cute.
 
ME (smiling): Thank you!  We love him a lot.
 
CASHIER: How old is she?
 
ME: He is about 4 weeks old.  I’m buying him a one month birthday present.
 
CASHIER: How sweet!  What’s her name?
 
ME: His name is Jack.  We named him after his great grandfather.
 
CASHIER: Jack, huh?  Jack.  Wow, that’s an interesting name for a girl.
 
OTHER CASHIER WHO HAS BEEN WATCHING THE WHOLE EXCHANGE WHILE SNICKERING INTO HER SLEEVE: It’s a boy, Sam.  Look at his little blue outfit.  It’s a little boy.
 
CASHIER: Oh!  A little boy!  Well that makes more sense.  I hope I didn’t offend the little mite!
 
ME: You did, jackass, now he’s going to be scarred for life.  Thanks a lot.
 
(Just kidding)
 
ME: Of course you didn’t.  He’s 4 weeks old, he can’t understand English!  <under my breath> and neither, apparently, can you, but you’re old and nice so I forgive you.  <louder>  Have a great day!
 

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