Google Searches I Have Performed Today While At Work
- 38 weeks pregnant
- Late pregnancy headaches
- Early labor signs
- Pirate Treasure Map
- NC early voting
- zucchini nut bread recipe
- yoga relieve headaches
- safe headache relief late pregnancy
**I have a headache today
New Stories That Struck Me Today
- Spain names as its Defense Minister a woman who is 7 months pregnant, and I waffle between hormonally inappropriate righteous indignation that this is news (these days I am desperate to pick a fight) and amazement that it happened and awe of the woman who felt up to taking that job when her feet surely must be swelling to the size of her head at this point.
- It’s been a year since VA Tech, and I scrolled through the names of the dead one more time, in my guilty attempt to atone for being alive and healthy and not doing a thing about gun control except writing a pissy blog about it once.
- A New Orleans bank flourished after passing out risky loans to Katrina victims. "Isn’t that nice" is about all the commentary I can muster for that story.
Things We Haven’t Done Yet for Baby
- Met and settled on a pediatrician. You would be surprised at how difficult this is proving to be.
- Picked a middle name. As it gets closer to time and I realize we’re going to have to pick one of the kazillion middle names we’ve thought of, I am starting to feel the same panic that I felt when we couldn’t pick our first dance tune for our wedding. Oh my god. So many choices. I like them all. This should be something really significant. This will be something that I will hear for the rest of my life. This is a VITALLY IMPORTANT choice that I MUST MAKE NOW and Augh augh augh. Except, it’s not, and neither was the first dance tune. So take a chill pill, Gill, and just pick something for pity’s sake.
- Had the car seat installed. Patrick’s taking it to the fire station on Thursday. I feel silly and all "First Time Parent" for having this done at the fire station when it seems so common sense to me, but all the midwives and police and etc. love to tout the statistics that 88% of infant car seats are not installed properly and an improperly installed car seat can of course murder your child and then you will have to hold in your brain for the rest of your life the fact that your baby was killed because you thought you knew it all and could line up the car seat with the seat belt when clearly it takes professional with training. So. We’ve been guilted into taking it in. And it’s free, so what the heck.
- That’s it. We’re doing pretty well, eh?
A One Sentence Story By My Husband Who Prefers Crest Toothpaste to Arm and Hammer Baking Soda Toothpaste Even Though Arm and Hammer Baking Soda Toothpaste Makes Your Teeth Whiter
As he stood in the bathroom brushing his teeth, he noticed the toothpaste tube was squeezed from the middle, suggesting his wife was using the very toothpaste she professed to loathe, eschewing the grainy concoction she had so often forced on her long-suffering mate.
A One Sentence Story By Me In Response to the One Sentence Story Above
At their huge fiftieth wedding anniversary bash, at least half of the attendees commented on the whiteness of the 78 year old wife’s teeth, while the other half complained about the clicking of the 78 year old husband’s dentures.
I hope the headache is better. Don\’t read my blog it might make it worse.Have your list of middle names but don\’t fret it until you have him, see what he looks like. (By the way you might be tempted to name him Wrinkly at first glance but don\’t that part goes away.)Practice with the car seat now. I have messed with other parents and seriously most people don\’t even tighten the belt.
Depending on how seriously you\’re trying to take it, since you\’re so obsessed with pirates, why not give Jack a Pirate middle name? Jack Henry Morgan E., for example. I would have loved it if my parents had done something like that!