Mistakes I Made in the Last 24 Hours

That second cookie at lunch. Blech.
Forgetting my heartburn pill last night. What’s up, 3 am?
Telling an employee that her new coworker was young enough to be her daughter. D’oh. (It’s a long story.)
Forgetting to eat breakfast before leaving for work 45 minutes late. My McDonald’s run added 5 minutes to my commute, and approximately a kajillion calories to my day.
Coming to work at all. Should’ve stayed home.
That second spoonful of lasagna at lunch. Oh god. My belly is creaking under the weight of itself.
Doing a web search for pirate treasure maps to hang above Jack’s bed. Now I want to buy them. All. And paper his room with them. Because how cool would it be to be born into a room full of pirate treasure maps?????? SOOOO cool.

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