The oldest boy in my life is six months old today. As a birthday present, he got a trip to the vet to have his baby-making abilities cut off before we became grandparents. He’ll never miss ’em. I dropped him off at 7:30 am, and by 11 Patrick had gotten a phone call that he was snipped and already standing up, ready for action. Damn. I was hoping for a couple of days of puppy relief while he recovered, but it sounds like you can’t keep a good Virge the Scourge down. I’ve really missed the Schmupp today. I can’t wait to be mauled by him when I get home this afternoon.
The youngest boy in my life is practicing to swim the English channel or possibly building an airplane. Whatever he is doing, he is very busy and important and he, erf, doesn’t have enough, oof, room in there, oook. He was kicking hard enough last night that Patrick could feel it. It’s starting to get fierce down in Wombville.
The boy I married is doing just fine as well. He’s preparing for an upcoming research trip, and I think he’s getting excited about it in spite of his anxiety at leaving a pregnant wife behind. I say – go! Leave! Then I can watch all the Veronica Mars and CSI my little heart desires! I may even start the ubiquitous Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which I’m not sure if I’ll like but I am sure that you won’t! The only downside is I’m going to have to start scooping the cat litter again (pregnant women are not supposed to do this because it can give us a fetus-threatening disease, to which I say – WHAT A SURPRISE, ANOTHER FETUS THREATENING DISEASE, and also, WHY AM I COMPLAINING ABOUT THIS AGAIN?) Don’t worry various worrying females, I will wear gloves and a mask and protective gear and possibly have a suit of sheet metal made in order to protect myself and my fetus from insidious cat poo germs. Or maybe pay my sister to do it.
So that’s not really the only downside, because also who will I get to scratch my back every night? Who will help me decide what to have for dinner and then read news sites on the computer while I cook it? More importantly, WHO WILL DO THE DISHES?? Because if you’ve been following this blog from day one you know that me and dishes don’t mix. I suppose I’ll have to do it all while my errant husband lounges on the semi-nude beaches of Brazil and drinks pina coladas. Nice life. Sniff.
Just kidding. They’re fully nude.
Just kidding. He prefers margaritas.
Hahahaha. He probably will never make it to the beach because he’s a full hour from the coast and lord knows I can’t get the man to drive five minutes for a taco. Plus he’ll be very busy. Squeezing a full years’ worth of research into 6 months does not give one much free time to gallivant about and check out the local color, even if said color is beautiful and bronzed and sans bikini tops.
So, I have to go prepare for a VERY bitchy meeting between some warring factions of my production floor. I’ll just keep thinking of Virge. Refereeing a bunch of catty women may be annoying, but I think he wins the Most Un-Fun Activity for Today.
Okay so I am confused one a point. Is he going to be gone when you have the baby? Do you read Fabiola\’s blog. She is in Sao Paulo, which I think is in Brazil. God I hope I am not wrong, egg doesn\’t suit me. And as far as the last comment, I might prefer to get neutered. Hope it went well.
Oh my! Six months is a long time to be gone!You really should call me. You know, after you email me to get my digits. I own all seven seasons of Buffy (please don\’t be skeered) and would be happy to share. And, you know, we can NOT drink together.