On the first day of Christmas my baby gave to me . . . a case of anxiety
On the second day of Christmas my baby gave to me . . . to-tal exhaustion
and a case of anxiety
On the third day of Christmas my baby gave to me . . . three months of puking
to-tal exhaustion
and a case of anxiety
On the fourth day of Christmas my baby gave to me . . . blocked up digestion
three months of puking
to-tal exhaustion
and a case of anxiety
On the fifth day of Christmas my baby gave to me . . . EEEEEENORMOUS BOOOOOOOBS
lots and lots of farting
three months of blech
sleeping all the time
and a case of anxiety
On the sixth day of Christmas my baby gave to me . . . teenager acne
EEEEEEEENORMOUS BOOOOOOOOBS
Oh my God the bloat
I still can’t brush my teeth without gagging
7pm bedtime
and a case of anxiety
On the seventh day of Christmas my baby gave to me . . . non-alcoholic drinking
teenager acne
EEEEEEEENORMOUS BOOOOOOOOOBS
blame it on the dog
hurl hurl hurl
sleeping on the job
and a case of anxiety
On the eighth day of Christmas my baby gave to me . . . decorative stretch marks
wine, I miss my wine!
what’s with all the pimples
EEEEEEENORMOUS BOOOOOOOOBS
lots of stinky farts
“morning” sickness my hemmorhoidal ass
snoozy snoozy snooze
and a case of anxiety
On the ninth day of Christmas my baby gave to me . . . cellulite down to my knees
lovely pretty stretch marks
can I taste your margarita?
what, they’re on my SHOULDERS now??
EEEEEEEENORMOUS BOOOOOOOOBS
oh the indigestion
at least the puking’s over
I can’t make it through a movie
and a case of anxiety
On the tenth day of Christmas my baby gave to me . . . thick lustrous hair
blobby thunder thighs
pink and purple stretch marks
I’ll have an O’Doul’s please
pass me the Clearsil (oh wait, I can’t use it)
EEEEEEEENORMOUS BOOOOOOOOOBS
musical intestines
OK I still puke sometimes
<yaaaaawwwwn>
and a case of anxiety
On the eleventh day of Christmas my baby gave to me . . . pregnancy nightmares
lustrous = greasy
God my thighs are huge
I even get stretch marks up THERE?
Yes, I’ll be DD
I don’t care, I’m popping it
EEEEEEEENORMOUS BOOOOOOOBS
you smelt it you dealt it
coffee makes me gag
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
and a case of anxiety.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my baby gave to me . . . an overactive bladder
OK so I had the baby only it was a monkey and she was
holding my high school
drama trophy and my first grade
Sunday school teacher was
KISSING my dad
I look like I O.D.ed on hair gel
they don’t even fit in normal pants
cocoa butter does NOTHING for these things
I CAN’T WAIT TO HAVE A BEER
blackheads whiteheads no heads
EEEEEENORMOUS BOOOOOBS
maybe we should open a window
clear the way to the toilet!
ZZZZZZZZZZsnrgkZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
and a CAAAAASE OF AN-XIIIII-EEEEE-TYYYYYYYYY
Too cute! At least you are able to look at all of these things with a sense of humor!
Amanda 🙂
that is just too funny…and don\’t worry i am sure that my first stretch mark will show up soon…i mean my first from being pregnant that is…ha ha ha…
*~* :o) before you put on a frown… :o) make sure there are no smiles available… :o) *~*
Yeah, I guess I should\’ve been more clear. I have many a stretch mark on my thighs – but I haven\’t ever had one on my belly before. Or boobs. They never got big enough, before now! Aaah, don\’t you love pregnancy body talk.
That is very funny!
sheer genius my friend….sheer genius
is the husband enjoying the EEEEEEENORMOUS BOOOOOOOOBS ????
Yes but he\’s not allowed to go near them, because EEEENORMOUS BOOOOOOBS are ENORMOUSLY painful!