P.S. Numbers

I now officially weigh more than I ever have in my life.  I’m very proud and relieved that this did not occur until the second trimester.  To give a frame of reference and really expose myself (I’m an actor!  Expose me, expose me!  Spotlight, please!) I am 5’6.5" and yes the half inch makes a difference.

 

Weight pre-pregnancy: 146 – 148

Most I’ve ever weighed previously, after three months in Australia surviving on bananas and McDonald’s: 155

Least I’ve weighed in my adult life, subtitled How I Tricked My Husband Into Thinking I Was Hot Before It Became Too Late To Escape: 128

Weight after first trimester: 151 *Woohoo!  Only 3 pounds!*

Weight one week into second trimester: 157* Yes I gained six pounds in a week.  It’s hard to eat this much but I’m making it happen.  I’d like to thank my hormones, my hardworking appetite (I couldn’t do it without you, man!), and, once again, the one who’s always got my back when I’m feeling too thin, good old McDonald’s.*

Weight of baby: 1.5 ounces* I guess I can’t pin it all on the imp.*

 

I have an ultrasound tomorrow.  It’s an extra – I agreed to do a study with the hospital in exchange for an early ultrasound.  My stomach is huge, people.  Hu-mong-ous.  I’m only three months.  I’ve looked at pictures of other women as far along as me and they do not look like me.  The kid is four inches long.  Either I have multiples gestating in there, or (far more likely) I’ve been incorrectly dated and I’m farther along than we think.  I was so desperate to know that I agreed to swallow two very disgusting poo colored pills every night for the next 6 months, just so I could get a free ultrasound to tell me WHY I AM A FREAKISH PREGNANT LADY WITH A HUGE BELLY WHEN I STILL HAVE SIX MONTHS OF GROWING TO GO, OH GOD IT JUST MIGHT EXPLODE IF I MAKE IT TO FEBRUARY.  It can’t all be gas.  Or fat.  Maybe my kid just wanted a really big pool to swim around in, and I’ve created an Olympic sized amniotic sack for him.  Tomorrow, we find out.  We also could technically discover the sex, because I think it’s determined at this point, but the baby must be a very cooperative little mite and I’m not getting my hopes up, given the vicious gas and indigestion he has socked me with thus far.  He’s clearly ornery.

 

Another P.S. – I got even with the husband for yesterday’s debacle.  I went shopping for Christmas presents at the mall and nearly exploded his brain with all the waving about of credit cards and cavalier purchasing sans budget.  Haha, don’t mess with the Queen.