An anecdote for Wednesday
Brrring brring. Brring brrring.
“Hello, thank you for calling ABC Company, this is RG.”
“Hi darlin.”
“Oh, hey baby, how are you?”
“Oh, I’m good. Hey listen, are you, uh, missing something today?”
“Crap, what did I leave? I have my wallet, my ID, my credit cards . . . I think everything’s here.”
“But are you missing something? From your person?”
“Clearly, since you are calling me here, I’m missing something, but I don’t know -“
“From your person.”
“Oh. Um let me see. Oh Whoops. It’s my wedding ring. Yeah, I took it off in the bathroom this morning and left it in my ring box so the cat . . . wouldn’t . . . get . . . it . . . It’s in the trash. Don’t tell me it’s in the trash.”
“It’s not in the trash. Three guesses where it is.”
In the sink drain.
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Excuse me while I kill my cat.
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This is why I forget my wedding rings. Because if I ever take them off – to take a shower, to sleep, to apply lotion – I have to lock them up in a jewelry box or put them under something really heavy for protection from the non-opposable-thumbed nightmare that we have chosen to share our home with. That cat has X ray vision – she never touches the ring box unless there’s a ring in it. And then, well, who knows where the box, the lid, and the ring will end up – I have found the box lid buried in a potted plant, the bottom under the dresser, and the ring in the trash before.
That was a different ring box. I thought we’d switch it up, new little box, new location. But. Like I said. X ray vision.
Well, she HAD Xray vision. Before I strangled her.
2 Comments
super jane
nu. uh. are you for serious? i once tried to kill my cat when he somehow pressed the record button on the remote control while we were gone. and he taped a soap opera over my first born\’s ultrasound video. i sh*t you not. how do they do that? and why do we love them so?
Nice Girl
Seriously? Wow. Sly the Wonder Cat typically leaves my rings alone, but if I leave them close to the edge of the counter at all? Done. He\’ll knock them off the counter and who knows where they will end up. He\’s lucky he\’s cute.
Amanda 🙂